Fun with maps

Oh, yeah. This is happening.

Each country is sized according to its population.

  

Theory: Television is better than movies

At the recommendation of my dad, I watched the PBS documentary series called America in Primetime, about the evolution of American television. There are four episodes and they're all on Netflix and you should definitely watch if you have any interest in TV or stories or happiness. I'll summarize the four episodes here and give my own two cents on the topic.

The first episode is about male characters. Men on TV started out as wise, composed, Father Knows Best types. Then they went to the opposite extreme and became bumbling idiots a la Homer Simpson.  Both representations are clearly unrealistic. Finally we're seeing intricate, flawed, realistic male characters on TV.

The second episode is about female characters. Women on TV started off as the model housewife: polite, respectful, beautiful and always making a cake. Then we started to see comedic roles like in I Love Lucy and then, at long last, career women! How modern! Current day women characters can be practically anything and just as complex as their male counterparts.

The third episode, about misfit characters, explains the outsider's evolution from the butt of the joke to the star of the show. Really, though, what show features a lead character that is popular and universally well liked? And how many people are like this is real life? It's important for characters to be relatable and misfit characters generally are.

The final and fourth episode dealt with heroes, crusaders. They're gone from wholesome, upstanding, totally good guys who fight totally evil bad guys to being submerged completely in the gray area. Gray area is actually the best thing ever. Of course, Breaking Bad's protagonist is breaking all the rules for traditional "heroes" but there are a ton of modern TV characters who do the right things for the wrong reasons or the wrong things for the right reasons. And sometimes they screw up completely. This is so much more interesting than white and black, good and evil. Not to mention, it's more reflective of the real world.

Watching this show made me super excited about my current dream job: being a TV writer. It was said that the main focus of TV shows is really character development, and that process is a collaboration between actors and writers. Everyone else involved in making a show is much more on the periphery than they are in movies. The main message of the show is that we've reached a new golden age of television, where TV shows are actually better than movies. I couldn't agree more. At least if you're looking for drama and storytelling, you're not going to find it in theaters near you. Not with any frequency.

Obviously, it's easier to build characters over several years as opposed to two hours. But it can be done and it has been done. It's just not done very often anymore. Why? Movies have obviously become big budget, CGI, 3D fests, even ones that shouldn't be (The Great Gatsby, anyone?). Movies are visual spectacles the majority of the time. Although a lot of TV shows have really great special effects these days, the lower budget of television could actually be an advantage. Maybe a bloated budget is too tempting, and unneeded, expensive effects are thrown in for the heck of it. In TV shows more focus is placed on the story and characters. And hearing all this made me bounce up and down in excitement.

I've had plenty of ideas for TV shows... Mischief Managed (heh heh), but also a wholly original one lately as part of my epic, sci-fi franchise that's gonna happen soonish. I've finished the pilot episode ("Awesome Pilot is Awesome") and know pretty much what's going to happen in the first two seasons.

I've also been downloading and reading as many teleplays as I get my hands on and let me tell you - Vince Gilligan (writer/director/creator of Breaking Bad) writes darn good teleplays. He makes it just about as interesting and entertaining to read the script as to watch the show - and that's not easy to do. I clearly have a lot to learn... and I need need need screenwriting software. Want to donate to the cause? Haha, kidding... But seriously. Please donate.

Being a TV writer would be ridiculously amazing. More of it is dialogue than if you're writing a novel and I'm a beast at dialogue. Just saying. And you get to take in feedback as you go and adjust according to what your viewers want. Which is something I've already been doing because of the way longer fanfictions are posted: chapter by chapter. And giving your dedicated readers/viewers what they want is a great feeling; it changes from writing because I love it to writing because they love it. And I really love that.

So find America in Primetime either on Netflix or right here and watch it. Maybe it will make you as excited as it made me!

How to name all the countries in the world

This summer I learned how to name all 197 countries in the world. Now I will help you do the same. So we're on the same page here: Scotland/England/etc - not countries. Greenland - a part of Denmark. Puerto Rico - part of the US. Palestine - debatable, I guess, but counted as a country here. South Sudan, Kosovo - recently became countries. I go by Sporcle standards if you need more information.

Step one: Get a good map of the world in your head.

The only way you can do this, on the spot, without a blank map to look at and not in alphabetical order (which is my next goal, by the way), is to have an accurate map in your head that you can conjure up when needed. So, look at a lot of maps. Know exactly where every country is.

Step two: Divide by continents.

North America (including Central America and the Caribbean) has 23 countries. South America has 12. Europe has 47 (including Russia and Turkey because they can go either way and this makes Europe and Asia equal in number of countries). Asia also  has 47, as I said, if we don't include Russia or Turkey. Africa has the most at 54. And Australia/Oceania has 14. Knowing these numbers will make everything go so much more smoothly.

Step three: Go as systematically as possible.

Do not shout out random countries as they come to your head - you will never be able to do it that way. Go geographically and try to go in about the same order every time. Find what works for you. I do Africa really weirdly... I start at Egypt, go across to Morocco, back down through Sudan then down to Tanzania then back to Senegal and sweep through the coastal countries down to the Congos before jumping down to South Africa and going north to meet in the middle. Divide continents into regions or little groups of countries. Such as Scandinavian countries for Europe, or the Stans for Asia.

Step four: Keep a tally by continent.

It's hard to figure out what you're missing if you get up to only 195 or 196 (most frustrating thing in the world). It's much easier to figure out what you're missing if you know which continent it's on. So, keep a tally mark or have someone else do it for you. If you only have, let's say, 53 for Africa, just do it again. Don't hurt yourself trying to think of which one you missed.

Step five: Develop tricks to help on hard ones - or steal mine!

The islands of the Caribbean - this is the best way I've found. Remember "The Big Five" (Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bahamas), "Two Doubles" (Antigua and Barbuda, Trinidad and Tobago), "Three Saints" (Saint Lucia, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines), and "Three Singles" (Dominica, Grenada, Barbados). Works like a charm.

Oceania - this trick transforms one of the hardest regions into one of the easiest. "Four Odd Ones Out" (Australia, Fiji, Kiribati, Vanuatu), and then two each for "MNPST" (Marshall Islands, Micronesia, New Zealand, Nauru, Papua New Guinea, Palau, Solomon Islands, Samoa, Tuvalu, Tonga). See? Piece of cake.

African Islands - just remember that there are six and that they are Mauritius, Seychelles, Sao Tome and Principe, Madagascar, Comoros and Cape Verde. Going geographically is probably easiest, but I just do them right away when I start Africa.

Four Forgettables - Asian Islands. Sri Lanka and Maldives (name them when you name India or else you're screwed), and Taiwan and the Philippines (name them when you name China). Not so forgettable now, huh? Islands can be hard to remember when you're using a mental map.

AND FREAKING MALAWI. Don't forget Malawi. Learn from my pain. It's hard because on most maps (including my mental map) it just looks like a lake, but when you're doing landlocked sub-Saharan African countries (Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe, etc) DON'T FORGET MALAWI.

So there you go. Practice with the Countries of the World quiz on Sporcle (pretty easy since it's got a map) and once you've got it down, feel free to show off. I really want someone to play Concentration 64 with me... The category is... (clap, clap, clap)... countries of the world :) It'd be epic.

Let's analyze the heck outta Les Mis! (Spoilerfest)

It's been a good few months since the Les Mis movie has come out, and I've watched it five times in all (sort of an embarrassingly low number, actually) and I saw it again on stage, at the Orpheum, on July 31st. The first time I saw it, I didn't know the story or the music very well so it was sort of a "Les Mis, where have you been all my life?" moment. This time I was on a mission to enjoy the two hour and forty-five minute performance as intensely and thoroughly as possible. I think I succeeded. And let me just say... Freaking Javert was so good. Stars was probably my favorite performance of the night, or at least top three. Afterward, I just turned to my mom and I'm like, "That is how you sing that song..." Freaking Russel Crowe. Then later that night I probably became the first person in the world to, while taking out the trash and wearing a dress, sing, "Stars, in your multitudes, scarce to be counted, filling the darkness with order and light. You are the sentinels..." It's these strange things you do when you're a Broadway nut.

Here are some things I've noticed after a few months of over-analyzing Les Mis.

(I swear, if I had these analyzing abilities toward, like, Their Eyes Were Watching God my life would be so much easier. But for some reason I can only develop intense literary analysis skills when it comes to Les Mis. (And Sherlock.) That is so like me. But on the bright side, at least I can blog about it.)

*I'll note that these are my own original thoughts - I haven't plagiarized anyone. And it's not that I'm above pretending smart people's ideas are my own (if I was going to analyze the Great Gatsby I would plagiarize the heck out of John Green (but I do that anyway in my daily life)) it's simply that I hadn't thought of doing any research until I started writing this. And I will finish writing this before I give in to the temptation.*

Musicals have a unique potential for really amazing characterization.

Les Mis is no exception. In fact, it's sort of the epitome of this. Internal monologue and conflicts thrive in musicals as in no other medium. In movies, voice overs are really the only option. Books can provide a great deal of this - but only for one character at a time. In musicals, it's not only easy, but it seems so natural. I can't think of any other way to capture the complex grief of Marius (including his anger and feelings of survivor's guilt) than with the song Empty Chairs at Empty Tables. "Oh, my friends, my friends don't ask me what your sacrifice was for." It gets me every time.

Plus, Eddie Redmayne, right?

Right.

Another great internal conflict song is also one of my favorites: Who Am I?

"Who am I? Can I conceal myself for evermore? Pretend I'm not the man I was before?" - "Must I lie? How can I ever face my fellow man? How can I ever face myself again?"

A song is the smoothest, clearest way to get all these thoughts, all these doubts out into the open. Beyond that, it's a really awesome song.

It's a story about mercy and how we deal with mercy that we don't think we deserve.

Valjean is the first to deal with undeserved mercy when he backstabs the Bishop who then protects him from being returned to jail. Then he sings about it for a good few minutes: "How did I allow this man to touch my soul and teach me love?" He concludes that he will "escape now from this world, from the world of Jean Valjean. Jean Valjean is nothing now! Another story must begin!"

Valjean is able to deal with the mercy he's been shown and decides to make himself "an honest man" as the Bishop suggested. And he does that pretty much perfectly.

Javert, however, is not able to handle the mercy he's shown when Valjean spares his life. "Damned if I live in the debt of a thief," he says. Or sings, rather. The most obvious parallels between his conflict and Valjean's earlier one are melodic and lyrical. Javert also sings, "I will escape now from this world, from the world of Jean Valjean." But his escape is a very different one, proving that he can't deal with mercy that he doesn't understand and furthermore he can't change. I could talk for hours about why exactly Javert killed himself, but I'll spare you.

Javert was wrong when he said, "There is nothing on earth that we share. It is either Valjean or Javert."

There are a lot of things that they share, while still remaining great literary foils. But really, foils can't be polar opposites; they have to comparable in some way. This is a great opportunity to make a Venn Diagram. But I don't know how to do that in Blogger so I won't.

Both believe quite firmly in justice - but different definitions of justice. Valjean is a vigilante type, who decides on his own who is worthy of saving. He's the definition of gray area. Javert, on the other hand, is much more black and white. People who break the law are always deserving of punishment, no matter their motivations. He does not believe that people can do the wrong things for the right reasons. Intention doesn't matter at all to him.

They're both completely sure that they're doing the right thing (until Javert isn't, but that's another story). They're both weird sort of loners. They both have great singing voices.

Clearly I'm running out of ideas. Let's move on.

Why does Javert kill himself?

Just kidding, I'm not going to spare you. Muahahahah. Ha.

As I've stated before, he couldn't handle the mercy he'd been shown, undeserved mercy in his view, by a man he'd decided long ago was a bad man. Until, of course, on the bridge he "begins to doubt." That is a major problem for someone with the psychology of Javert. You know, maybe he just realized he wasted over a decade of his life on his obsessive Valjean-hunt. I mean, what's up, Javert? You got a wife? You got a family? You got a first name? No? Well, maybe there are some deeper-rooted issues here.

Okay, so we already knew Javert had a thing for heights. So the odds were not in his favor.

I can't stop making jokes. Sorry. Okay, time to be serious. The main idea is doubt: "Must I now begin to doubt, who never doubted all these years?" His world has been turned upside down, it's "lost in shadow." Most importantly, though "the stars are black and cold." We already know that Javert has a thing for stars, but also for what they represent: law and order. He values order, consistency, predictability - in the stars and in the world. Valjean causes him to doubt not only the past 10 or so years of his life, but the entire world - what world is this if a convict turns out to actually be a good man? A better man, even, than the police man who's chased him all these years? And that's what Javert can't deal with - that's why he can't go on.

A few notes on symbols...

The red flag of the revolution sort of changes meanings. It starts off as a symbol for freedom, hope, etc. All the usual things. But when the barricade thing kind of goes downhill (i.e. everyone dies), the red flag switches quickly to symbolizing death, blood, etc. All the usual things. So, when Enjolras dies in the movie holding the flag and it's sort of streaming out the window with his body - it's supposed to look like blood. And on stage, Enjolras's body was in a cart, lying on top of the flag, so the same idea. A little more complexly, if you join together the "before and after" meaning of the flag, it's basically the cost of freedom.

It's funny 'cause Enjolras/Grantaire is actually canon...

...they die holding hands. #sobbing

Busting a childhood myth

We've all heard it. Don't go swimming for at least an hour after you eat or you'll get cramps and drown. It took me until now to realize how utterly ridiculous that assertion is.

First of all, how does eating and then swimming result in cramps? You know, just don't eat a full on Thanksgiving dinner and you're fine. And how does swimming differ from walking or any other kind of physical activity?

But let's assume that the combination of eating and swimming magically causes cramps (but only if the two occur within an hour of one another, funnily enough). Because even if it did, why would this lead to your demise by drowning?

Picture this: you return to swimming after lunch. You're in the middle of the pool/lake/river when all of a sudden you get a painful stomach cramp. I'm no stranger to cramps like these. They hurt, but not to the point where you give up on life. Like, why would anyone think, well, I could swim to shore, but... what's the point? It's not worth it. I'd rather drown. WHAT?! No! Surely, no cramp is bad enough that a.) you can't swim through the pain or b.) you'd rather succumb to drowning than put in the effort of swimming to shore.

Have there been third graders who, at pool parties, get back in the water too soon after the pizza and just decide that it's too hard to go on? Like, it's been a good nine years... I think I'm done. Surely not!

My parents and I have had a lot of fun pondering this recently.

How to differentiate between similar flags

Best thing ever of the day: Vexillology is the term for the scientific study of flags and for an interest in flags in general. THERE'S A NAME FOR HOW I SPEND MY TIME!!

As an amateur vexillologist and professional nerd, I have noticed flags that are similar in appearance and have conquered them. Now I will help you do the same. Here is my working guide of similar looking flags and how to tell them apart.

Let's start with an easy one: Belgium and Germany

As you can see, they are the same three colors. Belgium has vertical stripes while Germany has horizontal stripes. I don't usually make up cutesy little rhymes to learn these things. Just learn it.

Laos and Niger

Similar design, different colors. Laos seems more Asiany to me with red, white and blue, and Niger seems more Africany with orange white and green.

United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Jordan, Sudan and Palestine

UAE's flag is different because of the straight red vertical line. Kuwait has a black wedge-like thing on the left side, which reminds me of the way Kuwait is shaped. Jordan has the star on it. The problem comes with Sudan and Palestine, but Palestine's status as a nation is questionable, so it's not a huge issue. But Sudan has the green triangle and Palestine has the red triangle. 

Ireland and Ivory Coast

Mirror images are tricky, but I have a trick of my own. Superimpose the flag of Ireland over the country of Ireland (in your head... Step one, get a nice map in your head, it's useful). The orange part should be facing east, toward the island of Great Britain. That's how you tell these two apart. So I guess I lied. I have a few cutesy tricks.

Australia and New Zealand

This one's super easy. Australia has the large star underneath the Union Jack because Australia's the larger country. Not to mention, New Zealand has red, five-pointed stars instead of white, seven-pointed stars.

Fun fact about flags of Oceanic countries: Like these two flags, many others feature this constellation - the Southern Cross. It can only be seen from the southern hemisphere. Other countries that incorporate this design in their flag include Papua New Guinea, Samoa and Micronesia. 

Netherlands, Luxembourg and Russia

Here are three horizontal-striped, red white and blue European flags. Netherlands and Luxembourg are the same except Luxembourg has a much lighter shade of blue. And for Russia, white's on top because it's cold there. Pretty simple.

Marshall Islands and Nauru

Sort of the same idea for these two Oceanic flags. The way I see it is that Marshall Island's flag has two stripes for two words and Nauru: one stripe, one word. 

Bulgaria and Hungary

 

Here are two European flags with three red, white and green vertical stripes. I guess Bulgaria is closer to... er... I don't know where I was going with that. Just remember it. I don't have any tricks for this one.

Serbia, Slovenia, Slovakia and Croatia

With Serbia we see the return of my favorite Eastern European crazy, two-headed, badass bird thing. Slovenia, ignoring that Slovakia also has a V in it, has stars on the crest that make a V and mountains that look like Vs. Let's pretend that the double cross thing on Slovakia's crest looks more like a K. And Croatia is easy and doubles as a checkers board. 

Fun fact about the flags of these four countries and Russia: The red, white and blue signifies common Slavic heritage and use of similar Slavonic languages. 

Moldova and Andorra

These are two small European countries that are wedged between two larger European countries and, although they're about as far apart as they can be from one another and still be on the same continent, their flags are frustratingly similar. Look closely at the crests. Andorra's has cows on it. Wait, but... Moldova's has a cow on it, too. OMG STAHP, Moldova... Okay, well, Moldova has a bird on it. And not a crazy, two-headed badass bird. Just a normal, boring bird wearing a shirt with a picture of a cow head on it.

Poland, Monaco and Indonesia

 

 

That is a lot of red and white. Okay, so Poland's got white on top because it's cold and the white is like snow. Yay. Monaco has slightly boxier dimensions than Indonesia because... it's smaller. Yeah, let's go with that. And then Indonesia has red on top because it's hot there.

Japan, Palau and Bangladesh

These countries are all more or less in the same part of the world and they all have a dual-colored flag with a large, centrally located dot. Obviously, learn the colors and you've got it down. In Japan the sun is considered to be red when depicted in art (and on its flag) like it's thought to be yellow in western culture. (Who's the say what color the sun is, anyway?) Palau is an Oceanic island nation and I guess the yellow and light blue sort of go with that - pleasant, warm. And Bangladesh has the green and red flag because... it's not Palau or Japan.

And finally, two flags that are actually identical: Chad and Romania

For these two, context is key. Context is your only hope, actually. Luckily, there are few situations where these countries would be grouped together because they're pretty much the most random countries in the world.

Guess what, I tricked you. The first flag is actually Romania's flag and the second is Chad's - I went out of order to throw you off and prove that you would never know which flag was which unless I told you. Muahahaha. Ha.

Well, good luck in your own studies in vexillology! I can't think of any situation where you'd have to distinguish these flags, but this is something that's important to me for some reason. It's kind of a fun quirk and could potentially be used to impress people in some scenarios. And impressing people is a vital part of looking smart, which is far more important than actually being smart. So, I hope this post helps you look smart someday!