How to make a reality TV show in two steps

Step one: pick a random noun. Any noun.

Step two: add the word "wars."

Examples my family came up with: Boat Wars, Lobster Wars, Hotel Wars, Popcorn Wars, Bathroom Wars, Cupcake Wars (which is an actual show).

Yeah. It works. Every time.

After Nik Wallenda crossed the Grand Canyon, the quality of entertainment on the Discovery Channel took a fatal plunge (luckily the only thing to do so that night) with the premiere of the new reality TV show Naked and Afraid, which is exactly what it sounds like. Two people, one man and one woman, have to survive for 21 days in the wilderness with all the usual amenities (i.e. nothing except a small camera crew and a machete) but with a twist you've already guessed: they don't get to wear clothes! But the show features actual "survivor man" types so they're unattractive and therefore the show isn't going to last very long. But I only had to watch it for like 30 seconds and bounce ideas around with my parents to come up with a new and improved reality show concept.

Okay, hear me out. It starts out kind of the same as Naked and Afraid except it's got to be two gay guys with no survivor experience whatsoever. Their first task is to fashion stylish loin cloths for themselves out of leaves. As they traverse the wilderness together (along with their small film crew) they have to complete various challenges such as archery and rock climbing. If they are successful they have a choice in a prize: either a survival tool or a baking ingredient for their final task. Like, do you want a box of matches or a bag of flour? The pair must work together to survive, but after 21 days they will arrive at the rainforest pie making station and they will have to each bake a pie with the ingredients they have individually collected. Then they carry the pies on their heads for a mile to the panel of celebrity judges who haven't eaten anything for three days. These judges perform a blind taste test of the pies and choose which one they prefer. The winner is immediately helicoptered off the scene, but the loser has to forage for food to feed the starving celebrity judges. 

My working title is Adam and Steve. That or Half-Naked Rainforest Survival Gay Pie Wars. 

Just a note that I wrote this at about 11 at night and I've been sick and on vacation and in the car for many hours and... Yeah, there's no excuse for this.