Over my spring break I ate at the Scenic Cafe in Duluth with my parents. It's a lovely place with amazing food (I had these sushi tacos that were to die for), but it is a little prone to pretension. This experience, and others at fancy restaurants, led my dad and I to come up with the formula for writing a pretentious menu.
It's simple:
Change every food item that would usually be written in the singular to the plural and every food item that would usually be written plural to singular.
This doesn't really make sense until you hear some examples, so here we go.
Beligan waffle with strawberry and whipped creams 9
Stew with carrot and beet 7
Breaded mozzarella stick with tomato sauces 7
Raviolis with mushroom and cheeses 11
Cracker with cheeses and grape 5
And then of course, there are some structural guidelines. Put the main food item first and then the descriptive items. Of course, italicize it. Then put the price after it in whole numbers with no dollar sign. Your prices should also be odd numbers.
And there you go, a fancy restaurant menu!
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